“You suck, You can’t do anything right, No one wants you, No one cares...” This is the inner monologue for a lot of us, a lot of our kids too. When they lay their heads down at night, fears and insecurities swarm them like vicious wasps poisoning their thoughts. I often tell kids: “Just because we think it, doesn’t mean it’s true.” Just as the sun still shines even if its hidden behind clouds. Thoughts are like apples hanging from an apple tree - even if the tree is healthy, some apples are good and worth keeping while other apples are rotten and need to be tossed. There are two life skills we can put into practice to promote healthy thinking:

1) Visual images that help us recognize/see the truth. Recognize rotten apples. Thoughts that are unhealthy and need to be tossed are invasive and come from many sources: our own insecurities, haters, fraudulent standards created by social media... We can recognize the pattern that thoughts stemming from insecurity, comparison, or shame are always rotten. They bear no nutrition for our souls and nothing worth analyzing. These rotten thoughts aren’t worthy of our mental and emotional energy. Another helpful image is to recognize negative/unhelpful thoughts as confidence vampires that need to be barred entrance. Then there’s the image of an insecurity troll. I often encourage students, as well as myself, to talk to the thoughts as if they come from an ugly insecurity troll. Tell the troll, “Nope. You’re a liar and I don’t believe you.” Another trick is to mentally “flush” the thoughts down the toilet. Lastly, we can also think of this negative thought loop as a negative train that we can choose to get off of. We aren’t meant to be alone in this battle though. So, speaking to a trusted mentor or friend can help fight against these lying thoughts.

2) Know the truth. The truth is still true, even if you don’t feel it. Jesus said, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” He said, “know”, not “feel.” And sometimes we need reminding. There are several practices to help us choose mental/emotional wellness by knowing and focusing on what we know to be true rather than our fears or insecurities. Collect and use truth statements. There is power in writing down statements that we know to be true and collecting them from people we trust. Keep a list on your phone or in a journal, or write small pieces of paper to be pulled from a jar and referenced when struggling. Rely on trusted people to help you know the truth and keep it fresh in your mind. Mantras are also powerful. Athletes and business leaders coach their thoughts all the time with mantras to help them in their goal achievement. We can also use this skill to choose to coach ourselves in worthwhile thoughts that spur on our confidence. Speaking and writing gratitudes is another powerful practice to remind us of the full/complete picture when we feel lost in the negative. We need to jump off that negative/insecure train with purposeful choices. Here is a list of truth statements and mantras to get you started...

• I have a unique light that only I can shine
• My voice matters
• I am loved, period.
• I am beautifully and wonderfully made, a masterpiece, a delight (Psalms 139:14; Zeph. 3:17)
• I am a human in need of grace, just like everyone around me
• I’m not meant to be alone, I can choose people who encourage me
• I am worth it
• I am seen and valued, not by everyone, but by important someones, I can focus on them
• My presence makes a difference
• Be courageous (Joshua 1:9)
• I have a purpose, I can press into it (Ephesians 2:10)